Bubbly on Your Budget

Bubbly on Your Budget: Live Luxuriously with What You Have is a delightful book about how women of any age and circumstance can live fabulously even if they feel they have to economize in some way.

Originally written in the 1930s to women affected by the Depression and mostly in New York City, many of the ideas in this book are still applicable in our time and for other locales.  In fact, many of the tips fit quite well with more modern prescriptions for how to think about money and lifestyle, and the suggestions to think hard about what really makes you happy in terms of expenditures, and to cut your housing costs rather than your “latte factor” type expenses sound quite a lot like the good ideas described in All the Money in the World.

Furthermore, the tone of the book is witty and breezy and delightful to read, even when dealing with touchy subjects.  I think we should bring the adjective “hard-boiled” back into current parlance, don’t you?

One of the most helpful points in this book, in my opinion, is the determination that you should be upbeat even if you are economizing and try not to let anyone see you cutting corners and that you should never cut the enjoyment of life out of your budget.  That is easier said than done but well worth it if you can manage it, speaking from personal experience.

I appreciated the book’s perhaps unconventional advice that a budget is not about living in austerity but about making sure that the money you have covers what you actually want, not things you don’t really care about.  We’ve lived on budgets where the amount of income actually only covered necessities, and that was rough, but for the most part people have some wiggle room, especially when they think creatively and are willing to part with societal notions of must-haves (Laura Vanderkam expands well on that idea in her book).

The book also offers quite sound advice about how to build and maintain a fabulous wardrobe no matter what your budget.  Really, everyone can use advice about how to buy classic foundation pieces and use accessories to advantage, and reminders not to continue thinking that what was becoming ten years ago still looks good are always helpful.

Another great section was on entertaining.  I enjoy entertaining and always wish I could do more of it, but am generally put off by a perceived lack of discretionary income.  However, the book gave so many helpful suggestions for how to throw fantastic parties on a shoe-string that I came away quite inspired.  After all, as the author writes, “At the best parties, the chief ingredients are originality (which doesn’t mean whimsy or – heaven forbid – paper favors) and a lot of enthusiasm.”

I really enjoyed Bubbly on Your Budget (thanks for the recommendation, Heather!) and would highly recommend this fun, interesting, and helpful book whether your budget is huge, small, or nonexistent.

 

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links.

 

Posted in Reading, Week in Books 2012 | 3 Comments

Mean Moms Rule Review and Giveaway

In her book Mean Moms Rule: Why Doing the Hard Stuff Now Creates Good Kids Later Denise Schipani writes about how parenting has changed between her mother’s generation and her own and how she attempts to do hard things as a parent even when it makes other parents call her mean.

In spite of the title, the book does not take the regrettable tone you sometimes here online or in real life of “I’m such a bad person!  I’m such a bad mom!  I’m such a mean mom!” when the person saying so doesn’t really think any such thing.  The title rather refers to the way that Schipani feels like other parents regard her when she raises her children differently than the norm.

The ideas Schipani presents aren’t actually that mean.  If you think it’s “mean” to say no to your children occasionally, refuse to let them grow up too fast, or to resist the urge to helicopter parent then I suppose the book would seem aptly named to you, but to me the ideas presented in the book were common sense.

The book is organized around ten “mean mom manifestos”:

  1. It’s not about you, it’s about them (that is, the kids are not your “project” or your chance to relive your childhood).
  2. Hang on to yourself (don’t let your whole life revolve around your kids even if they are your full-time job – it doesn’t do you or them any favors to think they are the center of the universe).
  3. Start as you mean to go on (think about how you want your kids to turn out and set your rules and priorities accordingly).
  4. Don’t follow the parenting pack (other parents like to be judgey about how you feed, diaper, and discipline your kids, but you need to do what works for you and your family goals – don’t do things just because the other parents are doing it).
  5. Take control (be the parent in the scenario).
  6. Say no. Smile. Don’t apologize. (you can say no without turning into a scrooge).
  7. Teach them life skills (prepare your kids for real life tasks like cleaning bathrooms, cooking, and doing laundry – even if you regularly outsource those things your kids may not always be able to).
  8. Slow it down (be careful about schedules, outfits, when you let them have new technology, etc – not to be a Luddite, but to be thoughtful).
  9. Fail your child, a little bit, every day (allow your child to fail so he can learn to grow).
  10. Prepare them for the world, not the world for them (keep the end game in mind).

I think Schipani is right about the changes in parenting culture – the tendency to compare ourselves to others is much easier now that we have the internet, and it can be difficult to resist the feeling that we need to keep up with what everyone else seems to be doing. Mean Moms Rule is a good reminder that we can be reasonable in our parenting.

The publisher has graciously offered a giveaway book for one A Spirited Mind reader.  If you’d like to win a copy of Mean Moms Rule, leave a comment and tell us about a way you don’t follow the “parenting pack.”  

The giveaway will be open through next Friday, April 20.  Good luck!

 

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links.  The publisher sent me a review copy of the book, but the opinions in the review are my own.

Posted in Mothering, Parenting, Reading, Week in Books 2012 | 10 Comments

Putting on the dog

I’ve been putting countless hours into prepping our house for sale.  If you’ve ever undertaken something of the sort, you know what I mean – you get used to living with your house a certain way, with the furniture in a certain arrangement, you stop noticing how horrid the closet really looks, and so forth.  But when you start making changes for other people you find yourself saying “Wow, I really wish we had made the effort to clean out that closet years ago, it makes an enormous difference.”

My grandmother calls this sort of thing – going to a lot of extra trouble to make an impression on people you aren’t really that close to – “putting on the dog.”  I’m not sure what that means but I say it too because it’s colorful.

We’re definitely putting on the dog at our house these days and we constantly say “Well, at least we get to enjoy it for a couple of weeks.”  It does make me think though, about how many areas of my life would benefit from putting in, not a false or exhausting level of effort, but just a little more effort, and what a benefit that might be for the people around me that I do care about.

In the meantime, I’m enjoying my newly beautiful bathroom, gorgeously decluttered and open closet, and newly whiter baseboards while I can.

Posted in Contemplation | 6 Comments

A New Kind of Normal

A New Kind of Normal: Hope-Filled Choices When Life Turns Upside Down is the follow-up book to When I Lay My Isaac Down.  In this volume, Carol Kent writes more about the shock of living with her son’s incarceration, and how to deal with a horrible situation that isn’t her fault and isn’t going away.

As in the first book, A New Kind of Normal includes compelling stories of other women who have learned to walk faithfully through prolonged trials, and Kent refers to the Bible, especially accounts of Mary, in describing the lessons she learned.  At first I questioned the Mary parallels, because unlike Jesus, Kent’s son is in prison for life for very good reason.  Upon further reflection though, I thought it was a good reminder that the Bible is applicable to our lives and situations even when it’s not an exact parallel.

At several points I asked myself why I was reading this book – it’s message is similar to the one in the first book, and it seemed like I was reading a lot of raw hurting parent stories (which I understand, but felt voyeuristic reading).  In other words, I don’t know that this is a good book for everyone.  I think When I Lay My Isaac Down is a better book,  and more broadly applicable to people suffering in a wider variety of ways.  That’s not to say that A New Kind of Normal is a bad book, rather I’m just having a hard time coming up with a specific sub-set of readers for whom I’d recommend it.

 

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Food and Memoir

Although I don’t personally enjoy cooking as an art form (although I’m prone to complicated cookery – the more exotic the better) I do love food memoirs.  I enjoy memoir in general for the insight it affords into other lives and motivations, and the added allure of food memoir is the vast amount of information conveyed and the occasional great recipe.

In an interesting twist on food memoir, I utterly enjoyed Gourmet editor Ruth Reichl’s book Tender at the Bone: Growing Up at the Table about the influences of food in her young life, even though I did not have the slightest desire to try any of the recipes appended to each chapter.  Perhaps we will differ on that front, but I think no matter what your gastronomic taste, your literary taste would enjoy this book.

Reichl writes with humor and interest about her childhood with her German expat book designer father, unmedicated manic depressive mother, and interesting honorary grandmother, and the foods they taught her.  She writes about the adventures she had at a French boarding school, becoming a hippie, learning about organic food in Berkeley, and learning about wine in France.

If you’re interested in memoir and enjoy learning about other people’s lives and what shaped them, you would probably enjoy this book.

Comfort Me with Apples is the second volume of Reichl’s memoir and traces her transformation from a cook to a food critic.  I found this book particularly interesting because Reichl completely changed her life direction in her early 30s, found a new (highly successful) career, and had a family.

This volume is sadder than the first, because Reichl’s first husband and best friend left her, and the daughter she adopted with her second husband was taken from them six months after they took her home when her birth parents changed their minds.  But in spite of these trials, which she writes about with honesty and without bitterness, Reichl emerged stronger and found purpose and happiness.

Call me crazy, but I also did not feel tempted by any of the recipes in this book.  I know, weird.

I think the third volume in Reichl’s story, Garlic and Sapphires: The Secret Life of a Critic in Disguise, is the best.  This book chronicles how the author was hired as the restaurant critic at the New York Times and her adventures in that job and in her hometown of New York with her husband and their small son.  Each episode ends with a reprint of the actual review Reichl wrote of the restaurant where the events took place.

I really enjoyed the food and restaurant descriptions in the book, and I admired how Reichl was able to document the way her job changed her and influenced her ultimate decision to leave the position.  The title of the book comes from T.S. Eliot passage her husband used when they were talking about who she was and whether the job was good for her.  The book ends with Reichl leaving the NYT to become the editor at Gourmet magazine.

Believe it or not, I did find a recipe in this book that I aim to try.  It’s for brussels sprouts.

In all of these books, Reichl’s humor and writing style are engaging and I would recommend them.

Many thanks to Shannon for suggesting this author!

 

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links.

Posted in Reading, Week in Books 2012 | 4 Comments

Quarter in Books

As it turns out, I read and reviewed 29 books in the first quarter of 2012, which is more than my usual because I’ve worked less this quarter and because I read as a coping mechanism and have been grappling with fraught decisions about grad schools and jobs and how to get our house on the market while living in it with three small children.  At any rate, the links below are to my original reviews – books I found particularly helpful or noteworthy are starred.

Faith

Thinking/Living

Education/Parenting

Finances

Fiction

Health/Cooking/Food Memoir

What is the best book you read this quarter?

Posted in Reading, Week in Books 2012 | 4 Comments

Bringing Up Bebe

If you’re like me, you may be a little skeptical about one more parenting book claiming the superiority of one nationality over another.  But, if you’re like me, you will be pleasantly surprised by Pamela Druckerman’s book Bringing Up Bebe.

Druckerman, a New Yorker, moved to Paris to marry her husband, an Englishman who grew up in Holland.  In the course of time she has a baby and begins to notice the striking differences between how French mothers think, act, and parent and how American mothers do things.  Rather than setting out to see which was superior, Druckerman observes the cultures and points out ways that the French ideas she picked up might be helpful to other parents.

I was interested to note how traditional French parenting is.  My guess is that most of our grandparents were raised more like these French kids than like the overprotected, helicopter-parented kids of today.  Emphasis on parental authority, having manners, eating a wide variety of foods, and not being the center of the universe are things I think any American parent could stand to learn more about.  Things American parents boast about like how little sleep they get, how much they have given up their personal lives for their children, and the like are viewed as horrifying by the French.  Then again there are some things that Americans take for granted, such as the health benefits of breastfeeding, that French culture hasn’t adopted in spite of scientific evidence.

Likewise some parenting methods I employ, partially because I had three kids under age three at one point and you have to survive somehow, and partially because I have a strong sense of needing my own intellectual outlets, are common in France but have garnered me strong negative reactions in the US.  At times while reading the book I thought “perhaps we should move to Paris.”

Throughout the book Druckerman is interesting and informative, maintains an engaging and intelligent writing style, and gives a great sense of what being a young mother in Paris is like.  I highly enjoyed it, and took notes on a few things I plan to try on my children (poor guinea pigs that they are).  I had been thinking of starting the kids in French next fall, and now I really think I will, if only so that I can incorporate terms like sois sage and c’est moi qui decide into my parlance!

If you’re a parent or considering becoming one, or if you enjoy cross-cultural narratives and sociology topics, you’d probably really like Bringing Up Bebe.  Let me know what you think if you read it!

 

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links.

Posted in Mothering, Parenting, Reading, Week in Books 2012 | 10 Comments

Christmas in March

Although the book is set at Christmas, you won’t regret reading I Am Half-Sick of Shadows at other points in the year because the story is so fun.

The book is the fourth in the Flavia de Luce mystery series, and it does not disappoint.  If you’re not already a Flavia fan, I highly recommend the series.  The books build on each other, so be sure to read them in order (links are to my reviews): The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie, The Weed That Strings the Hangman’s Bag, and A Red Herring Without Mustard.

In this latest installment, mystery again comes to Buckshaw, which Flavia’s father has rented out to a film production team in order to make money to help keep the old estate afloat.  Like the other books, this one includes lots of jolly scrapes and Flavia’s precocious knowledge of chemistry and determination to involve herself in any police cases of note.

As with any good component of a series, the book illuminates Flavia’s family relationships a little bit more, sheds more light on some of the ongoing mysteries of the house, and advances our understanding of Flavia’s motivations.

I love how fun these books are, and that they are books I would gladly give a pre-teen without worrying that the content was inappropriate or that the subject matter was inane.  And even though the heroine is a 10ish year old girl, adults will enjoy the book too because it’s well written and full of interesting facts and tidbits.

As with the other books in the series, I highly recommend I Am Half-Sick of Shadows.

If you’re a Flavia fan, which one is your favorite?

 

Disclosure: This post contains affiliate links.

Posted in Reading, Week in Books 2012 | 2 Comments

Read Aloud Chapter Books

We like to have a few chapter books going for our read-aloud time so that we can read a little of this and a little of that rather than just having one book for a long stretch of time (although we do that sometimes too).  At 6 years old, Hannah listens very carefully and follows along with every detail, Jack is 4 1/2 and mostly listens especially when he really gets into the story, and Sarah is 3 so she listens sometimes and wanders off to play dolls sometimes.  I think it’s good to expose kids to well-written language and classics, and I fully expect that they will read many of the read-alouds again later on to themselves.  We do read a lot of picture books as well, as you know if you have followed A Spirited Mind for long, but in case you are looking for some good chapter books too, here are a couple of books we’ve enjoyed recently.

It may not be a classic (yet) but Lois Lowry’s Gooney Bird Greene is a super fun and subtly educational read.  Gooney Bird is the new girl in school, she dresses crazy, she says she came from China on a flying carpet, and she gets all the second graders really interested in how to write a story.  Although the book is about Gooney Bird’s crazy adventures, it is also about how to tell a story and how to write one.  In the book the stories Gooney Bird tells are in larger print, so Hannah and I took turns and she read the big print while I read the small print.  I noticed on Amazon that there is a whole series of Gooney Bird books, so I got some for Hannah’s reading practice.  It’s a fun book, and not girly even though Gooney Bird is depicted in a tutu on the front cover.  Jack enjoyed it too.

Kipling’s classic Just So Stories was on the reading list for Ambleside Year 1 and since we have a copy we read it in the sequence listed on AO.  The stories are fables about all sorts of things like how the elephant got his trunk and things like that.  They aren’t meant to be true and are told in a sing song way that I think makes that clear to children.  After reading this book I noticed that Hannah started inserting “Oh Best Beloved” references in her own stories (Kipling used that for reader notes sprinkled in the Just So Stories), which makes me laugh.  One cautionary note: watch out for which version you have of this book.  The one we own contains the original language, some of which is offensive by modern standards so I went through and edited with a sharpie in a few spots.  I know, I know, book burning and censorship and how can I live with myself, but really, I’m the mom and I don’t want my kids to say certain words and since they repeat everything they hear or read I thought it best to be proactive.  You might have a different philosophy on that but I just wanted to make you aware.

Detectives in Togas is one of the best books we’ve read together this year so far.  The book is a mystery set in ancient Rome, involving and solved by a group of school boys.  In addition to a riveting story and surprising ending, the book contains a wealth of detail and information about ancient Rome.  We learned a lot about how children were educated, how the city was laid out, what people ate and wore, how their homes worked, and much more.

Although the book is about a group of boys, the girls enjoyed the story too.  I always mention things like that because so many books seem geared toward EITHER girls OR boys, and I think that’s really unfortunate.  A good story and well-written characters should engage both.

Tree in the Trail, by the same author who wrote Paddle To the Sea, was on the Ambleside Online Year 2 list, and we liked it although not as much as we liked Paddle.  As with Paddle, Tree in the Trail is a story that teaches geography, this time of the Santa Fe Trail.  The story follows the history of the trail for 200 years from before the Native Americans had horses through wagon trains.  It’s an engaging story and a good way to add to history and geography knowledge without being too textbooky.  I’d recommend it if you’re studying US geography this year, or if you think your kids might be interested in the American Southwest.

 

The King of the Golden River is an interesting picture book/chapter book hybrid fairy tale about three brothers and what befalls them when a mysterious visitor arrives.  As with all good fairy tales there are plenty of life lessons to be learned, such as the importance of hard work versus laziness, the importance of being merciful and generous rather than hard-hearted and selfish, and so forth.

I thought the vocabulary in this book was really excellent – it’s full of long and interesting words that children may not otherwise come across, and the text is so well written that the meanings are apparent or easily explained.

The version we read from the library had great illustrations by Krystyna Turska, but I couldn’t find that version on Amazon to show you.  However, I noticed that the Kindle version is free right now, so if you want to use this as a read-aloud and don’t mind missing the illustrations, you might want to jump on that before they change the price!

What good chapter books have your kids been reading lately?

Posted in Homeschool, Kids Books | 4 Comments

Balancing Mastery and Exploration, Plus a Giveaway Winner

In my post reviewing It’s a Big World, Little Pig I asked for suggestions about how to balance teaching your children to practice and work hard at a new task with allowing them to try new things.  

I find this a tough question in parenting.  Some families thrive on having each kid in several different activities, but I don’t think that will ever be us, and so the question of how much exploration to support looms larger.

Since music is important to us as a family, we currently have Hannah in piano lessons.  Jack has been clamoring to learn the cello (and sometimes also the violin) for nearly a year now, but the only cello teacher we found for young kids teaches about 45 minutes away from our house, so we decided to wait on that.  We’ve taken a stab at soccer, the girls have taken ballet, and now I’m pondering swimming lessons.  But how hard should I make the kids work at their sport, music, or other lesson?  How long should they take it before they decide it’s not for them?  

On one hand, I think Amy Chua (the Tiger Mom) is correct that you can’t really enjoy something until you’re good at it, and I’ve wrestled with my own Tiger Mom tendencies.  But on the other hand, chances are my kid is not going to be the next Mia Hamm or the next Peyton Manning or the next Yo-Yo Ma.  Of course if you sense that your child is a prodigy you should foster that, but for most of us that won’t be the case.  What then?

I suppose my conclusion, at least at this point, is that I should be clear about my goals and expectations when we sign the child up for whatever sport or lesson we’re choosing.  We learn music because it’s a valuable discipline and it’s a lifelong source of enjoyment.  We learn sports to foster good habits of fitness and teamwork.  We try ballet to develop grace and poise.  Making these goals clear to myself helps me know when to muzzle my inner tiger and when to encourage the child to practice rather than giving up.  Making the goals clear to the child at least theoretically might help perfectionist tendencies, fear of failure, or cast a vision for why they are working hard.

I say theoretically because the oldest kid in question just turned six and therefore we have no results to show for ourselves.  This is just what I’m thinking at the moment and, as always, it’s liable to change!

Those are my conclusions at the moment, but I’m interested to hear about yours.  Do you handle practicing and exploring activities differently at your house?

Finally, before I forget, the winner of the giveaway book is Kelly Wood!  Email me your address and I’ll get the book in the mail to you right away!

 

Posted in Mothering, Parenting | 1 Comment