The Bookmarked Life #13

2The Bookmarked Life is my take on catch-all posts–a record to help me remember this season of life.

Right now I’m:

…Considering

…my philosophy/theology/ethics of social media use as my kids get older.  I see lots of resources to keep kids from doing dumb things online, but what about things that parents post ABOUT kids online?  In the past I’ve had a habit of recording funny things the kids do and say on Facebook, but a recent episode when an anecdote about me was misrepresented on Facebook made me nervous–I can handle it because I’m an adult, but what if that happened to one of the kids because I unthinkingly put up a story about something I thought was funny?  I may need to record those moments differently to protect their privacy.  I’m interested to know if anyone else is thinking or writing about this!

…Furnishing My Mind

Eliza had a vocabulary explosion while we were out of town in July.  They say that a change of location often has that effect on kids, and certainly it’s true of Eliza!  One I really want to remember is the way she says “statue.”  It sounds like “staht-yeuw” and we keep trying to come up with reasons to make her say it because it’s so cute and funny.

In another great example, Eliza came dancing into the room wearing her sister’s ballet slippers.  She hauled her foot up on my lap and said, “DIE!  DIE plezz!”  I was taken aback.  My word!  She’s only two and already has had enough of me!?  Then I realized that the string was untied and she was trying to say “TIE please.”  That was a relief!

…Living the Good Life

DSC_0378We had a great week at the beach with my parents (pictured above), enjoying the sand and the pool and getting a good break from our home turf.IMG_4341Then Josh had to get back to work but the kids and I spent another week with my parents at their lake house. My parents got this huge inflatable thing to drag behind the boat and the kids had a blast.

IMG_4345The lake they live on is huge, with lots of fun coves and waterfalls to explore and rock formations to climb.

DSC_0434IMG_4370We visited a bunch of interesting places like the Biltmore House gardens, a science museum, and two museums in our own city, one of which offered a hands-on opportunity to pan for gold! Fool’s gold, but still fun!

…Teaching

We started school again on August 3, with a revamped schedule, new approaches to problem areas, and some different ways of doing things.  With a 4th grader, 3rd grader, 1st grader, toddler, and new baby due in November, we were due for some problem solving.  One innovation I have high hopes for is Table Time.  This section of our day is where I’m putting non-core subjects on a loop.  If I try to do Latin, Spanish, geography, artist study, composer study, poetry analysis, Shakespeare, and things like that every day, some of them wind up not getting done.  This year I set up a schedule to hit each of those topics twice a week during table time.  We will do those subjects all together, at the table, while the kids eat a mid-morning protein snack. I also added in memory work and a brief calisthenics break to this part of the schedule, and so far I think it’s going well.  If the new setup keeps working once the novelty wears off I will post more about it.

…Boosting Creativity

DSC_0038Eliza needed a backpack for co-op this year, so I grabbed a ridiculously cheap one that had decent colors.  Then I felt bad for buying my child a $3.97 backpack so I decided to upgrade it a little.  Fortunately I have a huge collection of embroidery flosses and found three to match the colors.  I added a flower and vines, then her monogram, then some more scrolly things, then put stripes on the monogram.  I could probably do more, but enough is as good as a feast.  I listened to podcasts while I embroidered and kept it simple, so it was a fast and fun creative project.  She REALLY likes it and refuses to take the backpack off, even to sleep.  If you lose Eliza these days, you can just listen for her little voice singing, “Mah backpack!  Mah backpack! Zaza’s backpaaaaaaack!”

IMG_4401

…Seeking Balance

IMG_4396I started tracking my time in August (more about that later) and one thing I remembered from previous time logs is how very, very much time I tend to spend in the kitchen.  With school starting back up and work to keep up with and a toddler who really, really, really wants to be snuggled around 5:30 every afternoon, dinner prep can easily be an hour and a half of cooking while breaking up fights and dragging a crying kid or two along while they are attached to my legs.  I enjoy cooking and being creative in the kitchen, but I prepare three meals a day for six people so I don’t always want to go full gourmet.  As this problem crystallized in my mind, Lora Lynn posted one of her seriously helpful updates (I consider her a virtual mentor, even though she has no idea who I am) and I decided to do some freezer crockpot meals.

I found some meals that seemed to fit with the way we eat (mostly protein and vegetables with lots of flavor) and used Lora Lynn’s tips to create 15 meals, prepared in crockpot liners, in just an hour and a half.  There was an extra half hour of cleanup, but still, eight minutes per meal beats 90 minutes per meal hands down.  I’ll keep you posted on how we like the meals, but I’m thinking that getting a few meals off the schedule might be worth it.

…Listening To

Every time I plug my phone into the car (I play audio books and music for the kids via the phone) the system defaults to the Hypnobabies: [Wahhhhwwwwwwnnnnnggggg noises] “Wellllllcome to your birthing day affirmations…..today is such a wonnnnderful day to enjoy liiiiiife.”  It’s creepy.  The kids can do a bang-up imitation of the lady, but this is getting on our nerves.  However, due to how our music is stored now, I can never seem to get it from iTunes to my phone via my laptop.  I have to use Josh’s computer instead, and I never remember to do this.  I need a better system.  Although for some reason I am now COMPLETELY convinced that today is a wonderful day to enjoy life.

What are you bookmarking this week?

 

The Bookmarked Life #12

2The Bookmarked Life is my take on catch-all posts–a record to help me remember this season of life.

Right now I’m:

…Considering

I just finished a book about a family who spent several years in a Japanese concentration camp in Indonesia during World War II.  With very little advance warning, they were able to pack a suitcase before being taken away, and as it turned out the mother chose very wisely, both in practical items like fabric and cod liver oil, and in bringing a Children’s Bible and a small painting that provided small spots of beauty and hope in the squalor and terror of those years.  I’ve thought before about what I would save if the house was on fire or we had to escape from something, and most of the items I list are of the feed-your-spirit variety.  I figure some things are easily replaced (clothing, books, kitchen utensils) and some are not (pictures my great-grandmother painted, a crystal decanter that’s been in our family since before the Civil War).  As a child I moved around a lot and so my sense of home is very fluid, but there are a few items that make home for me wherever we are.  I think the mother in the book made a wise decision in allocating some of her limited space to that painting.

…Furnishing My Mind

DSC_0366Jack turned eight last week, and asked that his birthday cake be themed “Harry Potter.  Or Batman.  But preferably both.  And shaped like an eight.”  With that creative direction, I cobbled together a vague approximation of Harry Potter and Batman playing Quidditch, and the contrails from their flight making an 8.  I used a gold dragee to make the Snitch.  Not my finest work, but Jack seemed pleased.  Right now Jack’s favorite things are reading (especially fantasy and adventure), riding bikes, jumping off of high and dangerous things, making up rhyming songs, wearing bow ties, and building with Legos.  This year his curls are pretty much gone, but fortunately I furnished my mind and my photo archives with his formerly lovely locks, so all is not lost.  And he’s still very handsome.

In an unrelated aside, Hannah taught Eliza to curtsy.  In case you wondered, few things are cuter than a just-turned-two-year-old performing a curtsy!

…Cultivating Routines

IMG_4247I got Crystal Paine’s Make Over Your Mornings course when it was on special for $5.  At the moment, I have good morning and evening routines in place, and most of the material so far is things I’ve read about in books (including Crystal’s!), but I thought it would be worth having the course because while my routines are solid now, they do shift as children enter different stages and I knew that it would be a good reference for those episodes.  One thing I do in the evening that helps us enter the next morning more smoothly is to take a few minutes to set out everyone’s independent assignment for the day (usually part of a math lesson, some handwriting, and copywork or a writing assignment) and update our whiteboard with the next day’s plan.  The kids have really liked being able to reference the whiteboard to see what’s coming next, and I like being able to defer the zillions of “what’s for breakfast/lunch/dinner?” questions I would otherwise receive.  I redecorate the board for each month and then just have to switch out the date, day of the week, menu, and daily happenings.  These two simple things take me about five minutes total to do at night, but save a lot of hassle in the morning.

…Living the Good Life

IMG_4253

We went strawberry picking this week (local friends, check out Fields of Joy – it’s a great place and is owned by a family that goes to our church) and had a great time.  We came home with about 20 pounds of berries, of which many were unripe, overripe, or had already had bites taken out of them (thanks kids!) but for us it’s most about the experience not the harvest.  After we picked berries the kids climbed trees and ran around with a friend who joined us and had a blast while the moms relaxed and had a chat in the shade.

…Teaching

I’ve loved the term schedule we adopted this year (6-7 weeks on, 1 week off, 1 month off in summer) because it has helped us to avoid burnout and I think it will make the re-entry after summer break easier (after three months off last fall, we had to spend a lot of time reviewing). But it is hard to hold the line when the neighbor kids are all on summer break and we are still doing math.  However, I’m trying to stay firm since getting in a couple of extra weeks this June will mean I can take a bit of a maternity leave this fall after the baby arrives.

…Boosting Creativity

After reading about it on The Art of Simple, I decided to try writing down 10 ideas every day on different topics to boost my creativity.  So, for example, I might list 10 How To Books I Could Write (example: “How To Handle Laundry For A Family of Six Without Wanting to Defenestrate Yourself”) or 10 How To Books I Wish I Could Write (example: “How To Spot Reduce Fat From Your Thighs”) or 10 Ways to Incorporate Refried Beans Into Every Meal.  They don’t have to be good ideas (see previous reference to refried beans) but it really is challenging to get ideas 7-10, especially when the topic is deep or wacky.  It’s fun.  Try it.

…Seeking Balance

After reading an entire book on being overwhelmed, one of my takeaways is that to make this whole working/homeschooling/parenting thing work I really need to work on not splintering my focus.  When I’m trying to review document edits for a work project, help someone with math, and keep an eye on the stove, it makes me feel pulled in too many directions and stressed.  Some things have to be multi-tasked and many things don’t matter.  I don’t feel the need to give 100% to menial housework.  However, in terms of work and my family relationships, I do need to move toward focusing on one important thing at a time.  As Brigid Schulte wrote, “When you’re riding Icelandic ponies, RIDE Icelandic ponies.”  That struck me as funny so I added it to my desktop inspiration frame.

…Listening To

A friend loaned me her hypnobabies set, and because I’d rather not have a reprise of the difficult last half hour of Eliza’s birth this time around, I’m dutifully listening to the affirmations in hopes of changing my mind about birth.  It’s mostly “birth is completely natural…my body was designed to deliver my baby…I focus on everything going right” type stuff.  But some of it offends my analytical nature.  “I deserve a comfortable, easy pregnancy…Birth is easy and comfortable…”  What is this deserve business?  And if I can expect a completely comfortable pregnancy, what is the meaning of this back pain and vein trouble and epic nausea?!?!  I plan to keep at it for a bit longer, and maybe work through the getting rid of fear part but I’m not sure this is overall a good personality match for me.  Have any of you tried hypnosis-for-pain thing?

What are you bookmarking this week?

 

The Bookmarked Life #11

2The Bookmarked Life is my take on catch-all posts–a record to help me remember this season of life.

Right now I’m:

…Considering

I went to a great concert this week with a couple of friends.  If you get a chance to hear All Sons and Daughters and Sandra McCracken, you should go.  Their sound was more what I would describe as hipsterish (in a good way) than their YouTube videos suggest.  At any rate, during Sandra McCracken’s set, she told about how she loves to write new music for old hymns and Psalms, to help her think about the words in a new light.  She described how during a recent difficult time in her life, she would stand at her kitchen counter with her Bible open, singing Psalms out loud to whatever tune came to mind.  I thought, that’s bookmarked life!  Sometimes I think when we get too used to a particular tune or style of music, we get into a rut of certain harmonies and melodies and it’s easy to overlook the depth and richness of the words we’re singing.  I want to be changed by all of what I read–whether it’s a novel that raises new ethical questions, a book of history that helps me to set the present in perspective, or a Psalm that lets me know it’s ok to be angry at injustice and ask God hard questions.  I appreciated the insight into how changing a setting can give even familiar words a higher impact.

…Furnishing my mind

IMG_4128Instead of candy in their Easter egg hunt, the kids found “fortune eggs.”  Each contained a rolled up message like a fortune cookie, and their good fortune is that they will get a new sibling in November!  Everyone is pretty excited about this development.  In between the first trimester exhaustion and sickness, my mind is swirling with possible carseat configurations.  The kids have begun the “what should we name the baby” discussions already.  So far Agamemmnon and Roberta have been vetoed.  Firmly.

…Learning about

I’m reading a biography of Queen Victoria and another on her son Edward VII, which ties in nicely to our school studies of the latter half of the 1800s this semester.  The books are full of interesting anecdotes, like the time an old woman pelted Prime Minister Gladstone with a piece of gingerbread, rendering him nearly blind in one eye.  It’s one of those moments where you aren’t sure whether to cluck in sympathy or laugh at being blinded by a bit of cookie.

…Living the Good Life

IMG_4099Although yet another round of stomach bug went through the family during Easter week, we did do some egg decorating. I bought some interesting gilding kits on 90% off clearance after last Easter, so we gave those a whirl.IMG_4100

Eliza was not allowed to paint the eggs, but she didn’t seem to mind.IMG_4116After our church’s egg hunt, I took the big kids to the living history museum near our house to see how Easter was celebrated in the 1800s. We saw a lady trimming bonnets and learned how you can dye eggs with onion skins, beets, and things like that. Also, the kids tried out a yoke for carrying water buckets and pronounced it heavy.IMG_4122Since I was singing in church on Easter, I had to be out of the house early and didn’t get to witness all of the Easter morning joy. Instead of full baskets, I put out an activity book, a new book to read, a small toy, and a mechanical pencil for each kid. I’m not sure why, but the mechanical pencil was HUGE for them. I also made hot cross buns from my friend Heather’s excellent recipe as is now our tradition, and left some brightly colored eggs.

…Teaching

We’re at that point in the year where it seems a real slog.  Some people burn out in February; I burn out in April.  It’s not hard for me to keep up with our history and literature and science, because we love to read and discuss those things.  And I am pretty good about requiring everyone to keep trucking with math and handwriting and spelling.  It’s the side stuff that begins to edge out–grammar and languages are harder to motivate for.  But I’m gearing up to tackle all of it more diligently next week, and fortunately we’ve gotten ahead earlier in the year so a bit of a breather was not an enormous setback.

…Seeking balance

I’m trying to bear in mind the lessons I learned during my last pregnancy about slowing down and giving myself grace.  I’d rather not have to learn them on bed rest again this time around!  Because I don’t have much energy and it’s hard to concentrate when you feel ill all the time, I’m focusing in on the things that are really priorities–getting school done, keeping my business going, and getting enough sleep.  Other stuff is taking a back burner, and that’s mostly ok.  Some of it is necessity–it’s very hard to cook dinner when the smell of cooking food is anathema!  We are experimenting with eating a lot of cold foods that don’t have a scent!  And yes, that does narrow the field a bit!  But certainly balance is about shifting to fit the circumstances, and we will get back to normal (or whatever the new normal will be!) eventually.

…Listening to

This week I enjoyed a podcast in which Michael Hyatt and Michele Cushatt interview Greg McKeown, the author of Essentialism.  McKeown expanded on the themes in his book and offered some insight he’s gained since finishing the book (which I highly recommend you read, by the way, if you haven’t already!)

What are you bookmarking this week?

 

4 Books, 3 Observations, 2 Asides and a Bagel in a Pear Tree

It’s Friday, so how about a round-up?  We’ll start with books because we always start with books around here!

Four Books

throneI’ve written extensively before about Bernard Cornwell’s fabulous Saxon saga (Reader’s Digest version: funny, awesome battle scenes, great historical detail) and all that applies to his latest installment, The Empty Throne.  Does Cornwell have a formula?  Yes.  But is it a great formula?  It is.  If you like British history in general or non-romancey historical fiction in particular, you’ll like Cornwell’s offerings.  I wouldn’t say this book moved the ball very far down the series field, but it was worth it nonetheless.

fairestIf you’ve read Meyer’s other books (Cinder, Cress, Scarlet) you’re going to read Fairest no matter what I say, so I won’t bother to dissuade you.  But it’s a disappointment.  We already knew Levana was the evil stepmother character, but I was hoping this prequel would give me some reason to like her.  Nope, she’s just evil.  I guess that’s part of the fairytale trope, but since we also don’t learn anything new about the overall storyline from this book, it seemed like a waste.  I also didn’t think that the Snow White frame came through very strongly, and the story was darker and less like something I’d let a kid read.  Fortunately it’s short and you can tear through it quickly.

Good-Cheap-EatsGood Cheap Eats: Everyday Dinners and Fantastic Feasts for 0 or Less is a solid cookbook from Jessica Fisher, combining fresh, real food ingredients with tips for saving money on your grocery budget.  If you’ve done any delving into those topics not much of this will be new (although I did get some good tips!) but the recipes are good for getting ideas and branching out, which I needed.  I did find that I had to double most of them to fit my family, and since we tend to be a protein + vegetables family rather than a carbohydrates + meat-as-condiment family not all of the ideas were a good fit.  But I tried several things and got great results every time, so I’d recommend this cookbook as a versatile and helpful resource.

tiredI wanted to look into adrenal fatigue after reading about it on Crystal’s blog, so I picked up Tired of Being Tired since the library had it.  I have some of the symptoms listed, and felt like lots of the advice was good (cut sugar, reduce caffeine, sleep more, don’t over-exercise) but some of it was flat out weird.  When the rationale for using some sort of magnet therapy is that Cleopatra wore a magnet on her forehead to reduce signs of aging, you’ve lost me.  I mean, even if Cleopatra did wear a magnet on her head, I think the asp got her before we could really draw anti-aging conclusions, right?  If you can take the good and leave the weird, this book might be a good choice.  Otherwise, go forth and do the good you know you ought to do anyway.

Three Observations

1) It’s always good to have a book on your phone.  I got stuck in Costco waiting for a pizza for 35 minutes (payback for trying to save time making dinner, I guess) and scrambled until finally found a library download about Queen Victoria.  I wish I had had something preloaded!

2) Jelly beans aren’t breakfast.  I try to get breakfast together in time to send my husband out the door with something to eat.  The other day my Biblestudy/exercise/shower routine got delayed and he had to leave hungry.  “It turned out ok, though,” he reported.  “Someone brought in jelly beans.”  #notbreakfast #nicetry

3) Small tweaks matter.  We dropped cello lessons and now all three kids take piano, back-to-back lessons, all at one time and in one location.  You wouldn’t think this would make a huge difference in my life but it has.  Driving to one less thing and having an entire hour to read a book while the kids are having lessons feels amazing.  Don’t underestimate the power of a small change.

Two Asides

1) Manners matter.  I’m not talking about which fork to use when, but basic courtesy like speaking politely, not making comments about someone’s personal appearance, and responding to communication in a timely manner.  Is it the internet that’s squashing basic courtesy?  Because it feels like unkindness and disrespect when you’re on the receiving end of bad manners, as I have been several times this week.

2) Jillian still works.  I went back to the 30 Day Shred and Level 3 still brings it.  I can barely walk up the stairs.  But in a good way.

A Bagel in a Pear Tree

The weather turned nicer here, so we’ve been out taking walks.  One of our neighbors hung a bagel in the pear tree in their front yard.  We assume it’s to attract birds, but so far it just looks odd and kind of soggy.  The kids wanted to know if we could hang assorted food items in our trees, but I said no.  Probably a missed educational moment of some sort, but oh well.

How was your week?

 

Disclosure: This post contains a few Amazon affiliate links, as well as links to some longer review posts.  Thanks for supporting the blog when you make an Amazon purchase through a link here!

Bookmarked Life #10

2The Bookmarked Life is my take on catch-all posts–a record to help me remember this season of life.

Right now I’m:

…Considering

Judgement.  This week, after much discussion and observation over time, and a lot of analysis of our family situation, personalities, and goals, we decided to switch Jack from cello to piano.  Not a big deal, right?  Wrong.  I jokingly texted Josh that extricating Jack from cello lessons was like a drawn-out break up.  Lots of “it’s not you, it’s me” affirmations and endless explanations and questioning, both over the phone and in person.  I was upset and drained after the ordeal, but my husband reminded me that Jack is OUR kid, that we know his temperament and challenges best, and that we understand our goals and family circumstances far better than other people can.  Although we like the music school and teachers, they don’t really have a say in whether or not I’m a good mom.

Josh’s encouragement about cello lessons reminded me that I have to be more careful about who I allow to weigh in on my life and my success (Remember that concept of an inner circle C. S. Lewis talked about, that Po Bronson used in his analogy of your inner dinner table?).  As Sarah Mackenzie put it, whose “well done” am I working for anyway?

…Furnishing my mind

downtonSince we were in the Carolinas last week, and since my parents got me an annual pass to the Biltmore Estates for Christmas, I took the girls to see the Downton Abbey costumes exhibit at the Biltmore.  It was really neat to see the costumes up close, staged in the rooms throughout the house.  The beadwork on the dresses was particularly spectacular.  I enjoyed reading about how the Downton Abbey costume designers incorporated old pieces with new, but the real highlight for me was the conversations between the girls about which dresses they liked best, as they imagined themselves living in the mansion and wearing the incredible clothes.  That’s just the sort of thing I loved to do as a child visiting the Biltmore with my grandparents, so it made me happy to share that with Hannah and Sarah.

…Learning about

The kids and I read about Japan’s isolation in the early 1800s (we really liked Shipwrecked and Commodore Perry in the Land of the Shogun – fascinating stories and great illustrations) and I got interested in that time period.  So I put a couple of books on hold at the library and am about to launch into a tear on feudal Japan.  The 30+ books on my To Be Read shelf looked at me sadly as I typed that sentence, but they may have to wait while I immerse myself in shoguns and daimyos and samurai.

…Living the Good Life

This week I ran into three people I know in real life who are in the middle of or have suffered in ways I can’t imagine–a family dealing with six years of unemployment, a young mother who was suddenly widowed, another who lost a child at birth.  I’ve been convicted about my tendency to assume that everyone else is living problem-free, and to reframe my own situations more positively.  My husband came home from work last night, washed the dishes, and gave the baby a bath.  My kids all woke up healthy this morning.  I get to do work I’m good at in a very flexible way and still have time to pursue other passions like homeschooling and reading.  I have a note on my desk that says, “This IS the good life.”  I am grateful.

…Teaching

I’m teaching a Lego engineering class for our homeschool co-op and it’s turning out to be really fun!  Lego Education puts out several kits for classrooms, and although I think they are pretty overpriced, they are fun to do in a classroom setting.  I have 20 very enthusiastic and energetic 1st-4th graders learning about simple machines and problem solving and it’s cool to see how they use concepts creatively.  This week their challenge was to use what we had learned about gears to build a wheeled cart for selling popcorn at the fair.  It had to have a sign that would garner attention and would spin in a full circle by means of a hand crank.  Without any instructions, they pretty much all came up with solutions.  They made all kinds of observations about how to prevent the carts from tipping over, different types of signs, different configurations of wheels and gears, and even exciting popcorn delivery systems.  Kids are weird and amazing.  I never get tired of seeing how their brains work!

…Seeking balance

I read an article in Fortune about how work/life balance is a passe concept, and really we should be aiming for work/life integration.  As someone who lives “work/life integration” far more than anything resembling balance, I’m not so sure it’s a straight win.  There are good sides to blurring those lines–I don’t have to go to an office and put in face-time for no reason, I can schedule meetings and work time around other responsibilities, and I basically fit a more than full-time workload in with homeschooling and general life stuff.  However, there is no off button.  The day often starts early and ends late.  A client needs a meeting smack-dab in the middle of our homeschool day or, worse, when I’m supposed to be teaching a co-op class.  Deadlines overlap and converge right when I need to handle a family crisis.  When work and life mingle, you get a lot of flexibility, but you also get a fair amount of stress and uncertainty, and it becomes difficult to consistently block out time for rest in the face of competing demands for your time and energy.  Ideally, as the article says, you’d integrate your work and life so you’re at your personal best in all arenas.  Sometimes it looks like that.  Other times, though, it feels like you’re not getting the peanut butter all the way to the edge of the bread.  Work/life integration is where I am personally, and I still think it’s the best thing for our family situation right now, but it’s not all positive, and I’m not sure if it’s really universally superior to the 9-5-and-done workplace model.  What do you think?

…Listening to

I’m trying to listen to the audiobook of Wizard: The Life And Times Of Nikola Tesla from Josh’s Audible account, but I can’t listen to it while I’m driving because it makes me feel like falling asleep.  It’s a fascinating book, but I think I need it in print because it’s so, so hard to focus on with the narrator’s lulling voice.  But if you need an alternative to counting sheep, this might be your answer!

What are you bookmarking this week?

 

Note: Most of the links in this post are to my longer reviews, but some are to Amazon, and they are affiliate links, just so you know! 

Know When to Hold ‘Em, Know When to Fold ‘Em

WhenThat wisdom obviously applies to never counting yer money when yer sittin’ at the table (thank you for your insight, Kenny Rogers), but also to making the most of the time you have available to read.

After I finally gave up on Owen Meany, I devoted more thought to dropping books.  Maybe my general plan of quitting a book if I don’t feel engaged by page 50 wasn’t detailed enough, since it didn’t kick in for that book club selection.  Once I started framing my reading time as a limited but very valuable tool for living the life I want to lead, it was easier to come up with a framework.

Know why you’re reading.

First, I think it’s valuable to decide what you’re in this for.  Sometimes you want to master a particular subject or skill, like a foreign language or how to garden organically or how to structure a book proposal.  Sometimes you have a more nebulous goal like giving yourself space for an intellectual life or making time for restorative leisure.  For me, reading is all of that (except for the gardening–I’m over that phase!), but in any case it’s not just passing time mindlessly.  That’s what TV and the internet are for.  🙂

Be mindful of your time.

In the last newsletter I wrote about finding pockets of time for reading, so I already know I don’t usually get great swaths of time for books.  But because I love reading I sometimes lose track of what I’m actually doing with the time I do have.  Being mindful means I’m trying to stay more attuned to how what I’m reading fits in to my goals.

Ask yourself some questions.

Depending on your reading goals your questions may vary, but this is part of making your reading time more valuable for YOU.  If a book was a best seller, or won a prize, or is beloved by everyone in your book club, or was given to you by your mother-in-law, that doesn’t necessarily mean it will be a great fit for you personally.  And that’s ok.  To make the most of my time, I’m trying to make sure that what I read fits me.  Here are a few of my questions:

  • Is this book inspiring me?
  • Is this causing me to think differently or more deeply about an issue, a culture, the way I live my day-to-day life?
  • Is what I’m reading challenging me?
  • Is the language or content or structure exercising my mind?
  • Is this book expanding my understanding?
  • When I read this, am I increasing the truth and beauty in my life?
  • Am I learning anything from this book?
  • Is this book sparking my creativity?

My reading purpose is to make space for beauty, creativity, and the life of the mind in the midst of my responsibilities as a wife, mother, teacher, and professional.  It’s to interact deeply with ideas and be changed by what I read.

This leaves room for lots of different books.  Literary fiction, narrative non-fiction, history, Oreo sci-fi/YA fairy tales…as long as my mind is working and I’m really feeling restored and energized, I’ll keep reading.

But, if I need to cut my losses, that’s all right.  I can walk away from books that aren’t good fits for me.  I’m not letting anyone down if I choose another book that delights or challenges me more.

Hopefully I’ll do better in the future at applying this framework before I start to seriously regret lost time!

What are your criteria for deciding not to finish a book?

What IS a bookmarked life?

Bookmarked Life Sidebar ButtonIf you’ve seen the new site design (if you read in a reader or over email, click over to the full site to see what I mean), you may have wondered at the new subtitle, “Building a Bookmarked Life.”

Writing book reviews here is one way that I process the books I read, and really take the information I learn into my life–whether it’s a life tip from a non-fiction book or a better understanding of a culture or time period from a piece of fiction.  I don’t just want to read for diversion–although certainly reading is a worthy leisure activity purely on its own merits!–I want to be changed and challenged by the books I read.

As our culture becomes more and more geared toward quick hit information, I think it’s getting harder to really interact with ideas unless you’re careful to keep up your ability to interact with longer arguments and deeper stories.  I’m not satisfied with superficial “three ways to revolutionize your productivity by Tuesday” type articles or 30 second clips purporting to explain global issues.  I don’t think other people are ok with it either.  

But how can we fit in what Plato called “the examined life?”  I don’t know about you, but I don’t have a lot of time to sit around contemplating my navel.  Life is full and moves at a fast pace.  I get that–I have four kids, I homeschool, I have a job, I keep this blog and a few other personal writing projects on the side…and I know some of you are way more busy–but I think that makes it even more important not to skate by on the surface of life.  I’d love to spend hours a day reading, but even though I don’t have that kind of time in this phase of my life, I pick up a book when I can and consider what I’ve learned as I go about my day.  What I make time to read has changed me and has had a profound impact on the way I do all of life.

The bookmarked life is about carving out time–whether long chunks or a few moments here and there–to read more deeply, to think about ideas more carefully, and to let what you read impact you and make your life richer.  It may seem like we can’t afford to make time for that, but I sort of think we can’t afford not to.

The Bookmarked Life #9

2The Bookmarked Life is my take on catch-all posts–a record to help me remember this season of life.

Right now I’m:

…Considering

A childhood friend of mine recently took her daughters to New York City.  As I read about their adventures on her blog, I was amazed at the things they did that wouldn’t have crossed my mind.  I’d love to take my girls to NY, but I’d do completely different things.  It struck me how differently people can view the same city–the things that mean New York to me are different than for my friend.

It made me wonder about my own city. I have an internal narrative about Indianapolis based on my experiences here, but other people view it through a totally different lense.  It is interesting to consider what might be right here within reach that I’ve just overlooked.

…Furnishing my mind

sarahIt’s such a cliche, but I have this sense that time is slipping very quickly.  Sarah lost one of her front teeth and all of a sudden she really looks six years old (which she is, having had a birthday last month).  It makes me panic that I haven’t taken enough video, and I actually printed pictures from our Christmas trip to try to catch hold of what the kids look like now.  One of my deliverables for 2015 (yeah, I business-ize my goals like that) is to hug everybody in the family before breakfast is over.  It’s bizarre that I don’t do that anyway, but life spins madly on otherwise.

…Learning about

I’m reading an incredible book on language learning (review coming soon).  I love to study languages, mostly because I like to understand and unravel systems and how they work, but I’ve never been overly successful at actually speaking a language.  I feel like Fluent Forever might change that, but even if not I am learning a ton about memory and language and how brains work, which is a win in and of itself!

…Living the Good Life

readingWe had a great Christmas with my parents, brother, and aunt in South Carolina.  Although the kids all got a stomach virus (barf is my parenting nemesis) fortunately no one was sick on Christmas Eve OR Christmas Day.  Blessings.

…Teaching

We took the week of Christmas off because we were visiting my parents in South Carolina, but we did go on a field trip to Biltmore Estates one day.  It was great timing since we had just finished studying about daily life in a Victorian house!  Since all of the kids also got a stomach virus that week and came home with some terrible respiratory sickness, we took the week of New Years off too, and then I got the stomach bug, and with one thing after another we took the first week of January off too.  Now, after a three week vacation, I think we’re ready to start a new term on Monday!  One of the good things about homeschooling is that as long as we get in 180 days of instruction I don’t have to adhere to any particular calendar and we can take time off as we need it.  I’m grateful for that flexibility!

…Excercising

One thing I’ve realized about myself is that I need to have an articulable reason for goals I’m setting – and it needs to be my “why” not the general “right answer.”  So I spent some time thinking about exercising.  I’d like to get to my post-Sarah weight by the time Eliza turns two, but mostly I think running in the morning is a good thinking time, and Jillian workouts are good for my muscles and post-workout endorphins.  So I’m trying out a new schedule of five minute warmup, 20 minute run, 30 minute Jillian (on a loop, since none of my DVDs are that length, I’ll just go until the time is up and then pick up the next day where I left off), five minute stretch.  If that doesn’t take, I might need a new why.

…Seeking balance

We are having a big push-and-pull between a need for schedule and routine and the need to be flexible.  Some work/life gurus advocate having very clear boundaries between roles, while others take a more blended approach.  As someone who tends to choose D) All of the Above, I just tend to swing from one side of the pendulum to the other.  It’s not ideal, but it might be the trade-off for having the freedom to homeschool and also to work from home.

…Building the habit

After reading The Fringe Hours (review forthcoming, but it’s excellent, and available for pre-order!) I started thinking about how gratitude and thankfulness are really the antidotes for complaining and whining.  So we’re starting a new habit training for the kids (and parents!) such that when caught complaining or whining, the perpetrator has to write three sentences about things he or she is grateful for.  If nothing else, it puts us in a better frame of mind and improves our handwriting!

…Listening to

Between our long car trip and children lying around on the floor dealing with a stomach bug, we’ve listened to nearly all of The Fellowship of the Ringon audio. Then, when I fell victim to the stomach bug, I listened to hours of the Steve Jobs biography.  Audio books do help to redeem time you’d otherwise spend unable to read actual books, don’t they?

What are you bookmarking this week?

 

Note: Most of the links in this post are to my longer reviews, but one is to Amazon, and it’s an affiliate link, just so you know! 

The Bookmarked Life, #8

2The Bookmarked Life is my take on catch-all posts–a record to help me remember this season of life.

Right now I’m:

…Considering

“The purpose of life is not to be happy.  It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.”  –Emerson

I added this quote to a sticky note on my desk after reading it in a friend’s book draft.  To have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.  This is something I’m really thinking about as I consider goals and plans for the new year.

…Learning about

I follow Almost Fearless because although it wouldn’t work with my husband, the concept of being totally untethered and picking up and moving abroad to soak up different cultures and languages fascinates me.  Recently, Christine posted this idea for learning Spanish so that you can help your kids to be bilingual.  As our Spanish learning limps along (it gets shoved aside when other school work takes too long–I’m working on solutions for that), I decided to use the Almost Fearless resource suggestions to tackle Spanish myself.  I got a copy of Easy Spanish Step-By-Step and started working through it.  I love studying languages, but one thing I’ve realized about myself is that I like the concepts of language and figuring out how a language is structured, but I struggle to follow through and really learn it to speak it.  The vestiges of high school German, college Russian, post-college Arabic, mid-20s French, early 30s Persian, and now mid-30s Spanish ping around in my brain in a most non-fluent fashion.

I told my college roommate about how much I enjoy this fits and starts studying, because it’s such excellent exercise for the brain and I love brain work outs.  She totally understood about brain workouts, but then added “Most normal people do not feel this way.”  Good thing normal is not on my goal list.  🙂

…Living the Good Life

It’s trite to mention how difficult it is to get four children to smile all at once.  This photo shoot involved a complete melt-down on the part of the baby.  Eventually she agreed to be in the picture, but only if she could hold my phone and a random game piece.  You don’t even know what happened when I took the pacifier away.

DSC_0024Coordinating siblings. I will never get over it.

IMG_3813

‘Tis the season of “Don’t touch! Don’t touch!”

IMG_3801

I’ve tried to set up one fun thing for the kids each school day in our December term. Graham cracker gingerbread houses were a hit.

DSC_0002

Post-ballet-class photobomb of my attempt to take a picture of my Advent-Wreath-esque breakfast room table centerpiece.

…Teaching

We are limping toward the end of our semester, winding up with the Victorian Era.  It was perfect timing really, to get to Dickens just in time for Christmas.  The big kids have really gotten into Dickens in their independent reading, and we read A Christmas Carol aloud.  Both Sarah and Hannah finished spelling levels, so now Sarah is moving into All About Spelling Level 2 and Hannah is catching up with All About Spelling Level 3.  The nice thing about homeschooling is that we’re going for mastery not completion, so it worked out fine to have Hannah switch into AAS from a different curriculum and refresh with Level 2.  I’ve noticed a HUGE improvement in her spelling, although she still tries to write too quickly and forgets to think about spelling a lot of times.  It’s a process.

On a math note, I’m glad I did decide to put Hannah in Saxon 54.  I had been unsure if that would be too big of a leap after Saxon 3, but she is doing a fabulous job, and is over halfway through 54.

I’m pleased with how the semester shaped up.  Breaking the year up into terms has been helpful, and I’m looking forward to a longer break starting next week.  I need some time to regroup and “identify the slowest hiker” in a couple of places.

…Excercising

Since we were hosting my husband’s family for Thanksgiving dinner and I was doing the cooking, I wound up unable to do a traditional outdoor 5K.  Instead, I decided to see if I could run a 10K indoors.  So, during a lull in the kitchen, I went to the basement and did just that.  It felt like a good accomplishment.

…Seeking balance

After a slow spell after Thanksgiving, several of my clients decided to do some final marketing pushes before the end of the year, so I’ve been knocking that out.  I’m hoping to take the week of Christmas entirely off.  We’ll see if that is possible.  I have 22 books on my To Be Read shelf, and delusions of finishing them all over the break.  I’m also pondering what my professional and writing goals should be for 2015.

…Building the habit

I’ve made progress on my Fall habits, but I’m looking at new ways of applying them, or possibly switching out a few.  Do you roll habits into your goal setting?

…Listening to

I decided to do a free trial of Audible in order to take advantage of some free stuff in November, and I used my free book credit to get Susan Wise Bauer’s The History of the Renaissance World: From the Rediscovery of Aristotle to the Conquest of Constantinople, and have enjoyed listening to it so far.  I have a $10 Audible credit that I need to spend by Dec 31.  Suggestions?

What are you bookmarking this week?

 

Note: Most of the links in this post are to my longer reviews, but one is to Amazon, and it’s an affiliate link, just so you know! 

The Bookmarked Life, #7

2The Bookmarked Life is my take on catch-all posts–a record to help me remember this season of life.

Right now I’m:

…Considering

No one could make a greater mistake than he who did nothing because he could only do a little.–Edmund Burke

…Furnishing my mind

photo (1)Eliza turned 18 months old and is an endless source of entertainment for us all.  She dearly loves reading books (that’s how you can tell she’s one of us!), latching and unlatching things, putting on and taking off her shoes, and dancing.

Recently, she began saying “Yam” for yes ma’am, and when asked to say “I love you” she solemnly blows a kiss and says, “It is.”

…Learning about

After readingThe Locust Effect, I was bothered by the fact that I wasn’t doing anything to help the problems of human trafficking and violence against those in poverty.  Then, just a couple of days after I finished the book, a friend invited me to hear a presentation by a lady who, finding herself an empty nester and very convicted about the problem of human trafficking, decided to start a company that partners with organizations who rescue people from human trafficking and give them meaningful work at a fair wage.  She imports the things they make and sells them here in the US, giving all of her profits back to the organizations she partners with.  I learned a lot from her talk–like the fact that chocolate and coffee are two products that are often implicated in human trafficking, and how by simply spending a dollar more at Costco and buying the fair trade chocolate chips instead of Nestle, I can do something.  It’s tempting to say “well, what difference does it make if I buy fair trade coffee or Folgers?” but even little things do make a difference (see Edmund Burke quote from earlier in the post!).  At any rate, you can learn more about the company–Accessories for Hope–online, and Sherry does travel to speak at churches and community groups if you’re interested.

…Living the Good Life

photoWe took the children to LegoFest over the weekend, and although I don’t think any of us felt it was worth the price we paid for the tickets, once viewed as a sunk cost it was a fairly fun afternoon.  We were expecting more tips and instruction on how to build better, but instead it was more of an exposition of different types of Legos, plus lots of piles of Legos for building random things.  The session we went to was sold out and very crowded, so the kids didn’t get to play any of the games and relays.  Still, it was fun to get downtown and do something random and unusual with our Saturday!

…Teaching

Even as I was reading about modern slavery in The Locust Effect and modern prejudice and genocide in The Sunflower, the kids have been learning about slavery in history.  They were very taken with William Wilberforce, as they all are quite sensitive to injustice.  Then we turned to the topic of slavery in America and have been having deep discussions about the Missouri Compromise, the nature of prejudice and injustice, the ways that black people were mistreated in both the North and the South, the way the Irish were mistreated in the North…the kids are drawing connections I would not have expected from their ages and our discussions have been very rewarding.

…Excercising

So, I’m running over 3 miles most mornings now…in the basement.  I think I need to move this party outside, but now the 5am temperatures are well below freezing and I still often have kids waking up early while I’m exercising.  I did buy a pair of running pants though (on wild clearance, but still) so I feel quite official.  I need to find a way to get my strength training back in, and have considered alternating running with a Jillian workout, but at oh-dark-thirty in the morning I’m much more motivated to run than to have Jillian admonish me to “push the up button!!!!”

…Seeking balance

By Thanksgiving I will have wrapped up the extra work project that has been taking up a lot of my time since August.  I am simultaneously looking forward to more breathing room in the schedule while also hoping that not too much time goes by before the next big project appears.

…Building the habit

The last of my fall habits (order, focus, grace, duty) is also a habit that one of the kids is struggling with right now.  That has been helpful in reminding me to give grace to this particular kid, since I have a hard time doing things I have to do as well.  Duty implies things we ought to do–that is, we have to do them, but we don’t necessarily want to.  Lots of life is this way, and it’s worth it to cultivate a habit of duty.  This is not to say that you should blindly accept everyone else’s ideas of what you should do, but in the things you know you must do, duty means cutting the whining and getting it done.  As an adult, I tend to whine internally and make excuses to avoid things I don’t want to do.  I’m tired, I’m stretched too thin, I don’t feel like it…you know.  I’m working on catching myself in those thoughts and taking time to think them through–is this a case of needing to give myself grace because I really did only get three hours of sleep, or is this a case of needing to be kind and patient even when I’m on my last nerve?  I suppose if there were easy answers I wouldn’t have to work on this habit!

…Listening to

The kids have been listening to The Sweetness at the Bottom of the Pie on audio during quiet times lately.  There are a couple of words I wish had been omitted (the hazards of audio books!) but I think due to the narrator’s spectacular accent they haven’t noticed.  I need more good audio book recommendations!  Send suggestions!

What are you bookmarking this week?

 

Note: Most of the links in this post are to my longer reviews, but one is to Amazon, and it’s an affiliate link, just so you know!