“There is always, always a trade off.”

Essentialism-book-coverI recently re-read Essentialism. (Here’s my review from 2014.) It’s an amazing, high impact book, full of helpful inspiration for untangling your confusing and stressful hyper-busyness and focusing down on what really matters.

And yet, last weekend my husband and I had (yet another) discussion about how he thinks I am trying to do too much and am burning out. I agree, but just don’t know what to do about it. “No one else is actually doing all the things you are doing,” he said, “and the trade off is your sleep, and down time, and your ability to enjoy your life.”

Preacher’s telling the truth and it hurts.

The problem is, I love the concept of essentialism, but I’m terrible at putting it into practice.

You cannot overestimate the unimportance of practically everything. – John Maxwell

I take a lot of notes when I read. Sometimes I take action on them right away. More often, I put my notes into the think file on my desk. It’s a literal, physical file of things I need to think about. I hardly ever set aside enough time to work through it. The think file is about three inches thick at the moment.

The faster and busier things get, the more we need to build thinking time into our schedule. And the noisier things get, the more we need to build quiet reflection spaces in which we can truly focus.

If there is anything I can say about life as a homeschooling and self-employed mother of five, it’s that it’s noisy. Sometimes, I love the noise of everyone laughing and singing and being crazy. Sometimes, I feel like I will lose it if I don’t get a few quiet moments to think. I wonder if this is the root of my chronic insomnia. The middle of the night is when I can reliably have a quiet house to myself. Maybe I will start using those hours for my think file.

If we feel total and utter conviction, we say yes. Anything less gets a thumbs down.

Sounds easy, doesn’t it? It’s not for me. And, I think, it’s probably not a once-and-done endeavor. It’s a constant challenge to be honest about my energy level, my callings, what I’m really able to accomplish in a given chunk of time, and where I’m out of sync with my priorities. Often, I feel “total and utter conviction” about too many things.

It’s the time of year when I start planning for the fall. I love a new school year. It’s so full of possibility! Surely this is the year when everyone will begin to love handwriting and will stop bickering over inconsequential nonsense and will not drag their feet about doing their chores. I think “Ooh! Shiny!” about all the things. With our new-found efficiency we will have time to play board games! We could do tae-kwon-do! The kids could act in plays! I could teach myself Greek in 30 minutes a day!

And yet…

What do you need to do to be able to go to sleep peacefully?

Not so many things. Essentialism. I’m working on it.

 

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2 thoughts on ““There is always, always a trade off.”

  1. Yes!!!
    My life has basically been work, homeschool, sleep. A constant pouring out. Looking ahead to a new year, I know something has to change, but what?
    I don’t wake up thinking in the night, but can have trouble falling asleep. I can be tired, but hit a quiet bedroom and…wide awake.

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