If you have ever struggled to figure out how to show grace to your children and help them learn to choose wisely rather than defaulting to just controlling their outward behavior you should read Families Where Grace Is in Place.
As a busy parent, it’s often so much easier to control behavior rather than getting to the root of why our children behave as they do and training them to make good choices without external control. It takes a lot of time and effort to discipline thoughtfully and positively rather than punishing out of our own irritation and inconvenience. But ultimately if we want our kids to be strong and mature rather than people-pleasers, we need to do this work. (I’m preaching to myself here!)
In Families Where Grace Is in Place Jeff VanVonderen contrasts shame-based families with grace-full families and does a good job of balancing the theoretical/Biblical aspects of what he’s saying with concrete examples. I find it’s important to have both, because without the theory you won’t be motivated to tackle the practical work, and without the practical example you can nod agreement without putting it into practice. I liked how this book offered real explanations and examples.
Although I found I did not agree with the author on every point, I think overall this is a very helpful book and I would recommend it.
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