Retail Files

Now that hordes of men aren’t flocking to the store to purchase gifts for their women, my stock of retail quotes has dwindled precipitously.  I’m also not working as much so maybe the good lines are happening when I’m not there.  Last night, however, was a good one and I knew y’all would enjoy it.

A middle aged woman and her friend were wandering about the store, touching all the merchandise and unfolding everything just for the heck of it (!!!!!!!).  Having circled the store without actually trying on or buying anything, the first woman gestured toward a blue, cream, and black silk sheath dress and announced,

“There is just something OFF about all this animal print.  It looks MACHINE MADE.”

Yeah, lady, if only you had come in last season.  Back then we used to skin cheetahs up here by the cash registers and then tanned them in the stock room and stitched them up by hand into pencil skirts and blazers.  Those were the days.  With the economy in the tank though we just had to mechanize.  So yeah, all the fabric is woven on machines and sewn on machines these days, and that includes the animal print.  Sorry about that.

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