I read something today about how men tend to show love by what they do, but women would rather have those feelings put into words. The example given was from what is arguably the world’s most quotable movie, The Princess Bride, when Buttercup keeps asking Wesley to do useless chores (“Farmboy, fetch me that pitcher!”) and he replies “As you wish” but really means “I love you.”
I found this interesting because in my marriage we have the opposite construct. Josh is really great at words of affirmation (according to what I was reading, lots of women would kill to have their husbands say I love you or give them compliments) but my love language is more action than talk, like doing projects or baking elaborate things and so forth. I was struck by how often I communicate love on my terms when maybe I should be more focused on giving and receiving love on my husband’s terms more often.
I have read The 5 Love Languages but it was a long time ago and I guess I have slipped back into old habits. Since one of my goals for this decade is to appreciate my husband daily, I am going to try to be more intentional about appreciating his ways of showing love, and trying to show love to him in his love language more than in mine.
Do you think most couples communicate love the same way or differently? How do you overcome the challenge of having different love languages?