It’s not every day that a piece of cookware explodes dramatically all over your kitchen. At least I hope it’s not an every day occurrence at your house; it certainly isn’t at mine. That’s why I was utterly shocked this afternoon when the glass top of my slow cooker shattered with a loud explosion.
For purposes of plot exposition, you should know that I am the World’s Slowest Food Chopper. It takes me an excruciatingly long time to chop and dice things, which, for a cook who makes everything from scratch while simultaneously juggling babies and doing leg lifts as I do, makes things difficult sometimes. I really feel that if I could only learn to chop food like a chef my life would be revolutionized. Note to my brother who actually IS a chef: all I want for Christmas is chopping lessons.
At any rate, I spent nearly an hour this morning chopping onions and garlic and vegetables of many varieties to go into a vegetable soup. I based my concoction loosely on The Cooks Next Door post of the day, but I went a little nuts adding lots more things. I read somewhere that you are not truly an adult until you can make an extemporaneous soup. So I suppose I have arrived.
Or would have arrived, had I not had the brilliant idea of cooking the soup in the crockpot instead of the stock pot. I’ve had the crockpot for over six years but for some reason today it decided to commit hara kiri and take the soup down with it. You can see the lid pictured above in a blurry photo I took with my phone. Little teeny bits of glass were all over the place, and I was just glad the kids weren’t running around at the time of the explosion!
At first I pondered just pouring the soup into the stock pot and cooking it on the stove. The bits of glass were small and seemed to have fallen outside the pot. Then I ran that idea by my husband and he was quick to tell me to throw the soup away, helpfully pointing out that what we do NOT need is three tiny stomachs torn to shreds by bits of glass. Right.
Naturally the story of Stone Soup sprang immediately to mind. In this famous tale villagers are tricked into sharing their food by the assertion that stones can be made into soup, which only needs a little of this and that to perfect it.
I’m thinking that “Shards of Glass Soup” just doesn’t have the same ring to it and most likely would not be even as appetizing as soup based on rocks, so my hard work of soup construction is going down the drain.
I suppose that in the realm of culinary arts you win some, you lose some to random infusions of deadly nonfood objects. Lesson learned.