Requiem for Kirkland Signature Plastic Food Wrap (Professional Quality)

Before I first joined Costco
My life was pretty faulty.
I wrapped up all my perishables
In cling wrap straight from Aldi.

That stuff was never any good
‘Twas thin and ripped a lot.
It barely ever chanced to cling;
That junk was not worth snot.

But lo, one day in 2006
(January 30th, to be precise)
I bought this box of Costco brand
Because the price was right.

Calculated by square foot
The Kirkland box beat Aldi cold.
The savings paid our membership,
If the truth should e’er be told.

What’s more the Kirkland brand is great-
“Professional Quality” don’tcha know?
It clings! It holds! It lasts for years!
Oh box, I loved you so!

You served us well for three long years
We used you all the time.
Wrapping sandwiches and snacks
Your performance was sublime.

Today you gave up your last inch
To cover Jack’s half-eaten lunch.
For your brave and selfless act
We thank you. Lots. A bunch.

Kirkland Signature Plastic Food Wrap
You were useful – a good value too.
I now divide my life in parts
Before and After You.