Requiem for Kirkland Signature Plastic Food Wrap (Professional Quality)

Ode to a Fallen Kitchen Warrior

Before I first joined Costco
My life was pretty faulty.
I wrapped up all my perishables
In cling wrap straight from Aldi.

That stuff was never any good
‘Twas thin and ripped a lot.
It barely ever chanced to cling;
That junk was not worth snot.

But lo, one day in 2006
(January 30th, to be precise)
I bought this box of Costco brand
Because the price was right.

Calculated by square foot
The Kirkland box beat Aldi cold.
The savings paid our membership,
If the truth should e’er be told.

What’s more the Kirkland brand is great-
“Professional Quality” don’tcha know?
It clings! It holds! It lasts for years!
Oh box, I loved you so!

You served us well for three long years
We used you all the time.
Wrapping sandwiches and snacks
Your performance was sublime.

Today you gave up your last inch
To cover Jack’s half-eaten lunch.
For your brave and selfless act
We thank you. Lots. A bunch.

Kirkland Signature Plastic Food Wrap
You were useful – a good value too.
I now divide my life in parts
Before and After You.

4 thoughts on “Requiem for Kirkland Signature Plastic Food Wrap (Professional Quality)

  1. l like the Kirkland Signature plastic wrap & have purchased it for many years however I have major issues with the cutting blade on the box!!! The plastic “easy cutter” will NOT stay in place…every time I use the plastic wrap (which is quite frequently) I have to replace, fiddle with & readjust the cutter in order to use it. I have tried to glue it in place without success and frankly I am getting quite frustrated having to fix this problem!!!! Do I just have a faulty box or is this a common problem with your design??? If it’s a design flaw then I will not waste my money on this product again…..too much effort for what is deemed a simple kitchen task!!
    Any suggestions????

    1. I haven’t had that problem with the boxes I’ve purchased, or ones I’ve used at relateives’ houses. I would suggest taking your box in the next time you go to Costco and asking the Customer Service desk to help you out. Maybe you’re missing a step in getting the blade part on, or maybe you got a faulty box, in which case they might replace it for you. (I’m not affiliated with Costco in any way so I can’t promise that, but I’d imagine that’s what they would do.) Good luck!

  2. It was a sad day yesterday when our Kirkland Signature wrap came to the end of it’s roll. We dated the box when we opened it – January 14, 2007 – yes, it lasted over 8 years. Not good for repeat business for certainly good for the consumer. Off to buy another which could last me the rest of my life !!!

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