…and let the dramatic tale of a Monday commence!
First I had a major allergic reaction to a new eyeshadow package, resulting in itchy burning eyelids. The name of the trio of colors is “Ivy League.” Josh says from now on I can only buy Big Ten makeup. Ha ha. I didn’t have to be anywhere today so I didn’t really mind having flaming red eyelids. That wasn’t super dramatic, but it forms the lead in for the afternoon.
It was a lovely day here in central Indiana, so after rest time I took the kids out to the backyard. They were playing nicely together and I can’t stand to just loll about doing nothing, so I got out the saw and began pruning the trees in our backyard under the theory that if they have fewer branches and shoots down low, they will grow taller this year. I was really going to town on one of the trees when…and you surely saw this one coming…I ripped the saw right into my thumb.
Egads! That was a shock!
Naturally I reacted by sawing back the other direction, clipping my index finger with the blade. Blood began spurting out of my hand like that scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail where that one knight gets all his limbs cut off and yells “It’s just a flesh wound!”
I lunged for the house, and somehow managed to get my hand wrapped up before getting any blood on the carpet. I grabbed the phone and went back outside to call Josh.
Me: Um, are you in the middle of something?
Josh: I was just on my way to Kinkos, why do you ask?
Me: I just sawed my hand and I figured if I pass out from blood loss someone else should be here to supervise the kids.
Josh: I’m on my way.
Meanwhile, Hannah and Jack came running over at the sight of me sitting on the patio with my hand wrapped in a towel and held up above my head.
Hannah: Mama, are you doing yoga?
Me: No, I’m trying to keep my hand from bleeding.
Hannah: You got your bleed on my twirly toy. That was not very kind. Jesus said we gotta be KIND TO ONE ANUDDER.
Me: I’m very sorry. I’ll try not to ever bleed on your twirly toy again.
Josh got home, assessed the situation, and called his mom to come over and perform any necessary medical maneuvers. She arrived with a large bag full of gauze and whatnot and doctored my cuts, probably thinking things were much worse than they were because of my violently red eyelids.
After that we had an episode of Sarah randomly letting out an ear-splitting scream (not a loud cry, but a real scream) for some unknown reason which scared us all to death, Jack dumped his dinner on his head right before Josh had to leave for a meeting so I had to bathe and shampoo all three children with one hand, and Hannah announced that her tummy hurts and she was “prolly going to throw up, but not on my pretty quilt Cacky made me, just only on my pillow.”
So I have that to look forward to, which is nice.
Hopefully things will wind down from here on out, and I can enjoy the denouement of a restful evening!