Getting a Grip

Friday night I was doing the grocery shopping and pulled out my license to buy a bottle of red wine. Y’all, they didn’t even card me. I felt so old. Granted, I was at Aldi and probably there are not a whole lot of underage kids trying to buy off-brand hooch at Aldi most evenings, but still.

For the record, I bought the Aldi wine to cook with, not because I think $2.99 wine is a gustatory delight. Although you can get some pretty tasty Strawberry-Kiwi flavor Boone’s Farm from 7-11 that tastes just like Snapple. 🙂

Anyway, I had pulled out my driver’s license on the off chance that the checkout girl would think I looked under 21 (no, I’m not over it) and happened to glance down at the expiration date.


This is a first for me folks, I have never lived at an address long enough to have a driver’s license actually expire. Wow.

Completely paranoid that I would be pulled over and taken to jail for driving on an expired license, I drove like a granny going home. Josh had to work on Saturday until after the BMV closed, and the BMV is closed on Monday, so this morning was the first time I could go to get the new license. I needed the car anyway because we had planned an outing so that was going to work out well.

I should tell you that it’s a super huge pain in the neck for me to get the car. I get up really early to get showered and dressed and get my hair dry before the kids wake up, then get the kids fed, bathed, clothed, into coats, into carseats, try to convince Hannah to go to the bathroom BEFORE getting into the carseat, try to convince Hannah that she doesn’t need to take all of her toys and books in the car, agree to let Mog The Worn Out Cat ride in the car, lose Mog, find Mog, forget Mog in the bathroom, remember that I need to grab a pacifier for Jack…oh, and it’s trash day, and finally we get out the door a few minutes late.

That got us out of the driveway, and we were hoping to be first in line at the BMV so that I could get my license, drive Josh to work, drop Josh off at work (he works about 20 minutes away from our house), get home, change the baby, and get back in the car to drive to our outing.

We arrived at the BMV 4 minutes after it opened, and it was already full of people. Since our branch is in a small town, the process is slowed by the workers and patrons having small talk in the middle of each transaction.

“I think my grandson dated your niece’s daughter a few years ago.”
“Could have done, could have done.”
“He really liked her, if it’s who I’m thinking of.”
“Well she’s married now and has a bunch of babies.”
“Is that a fact? Well now.”

Then there was of course a new employee who had to read every question word for word, such as when she asked, “Will you be 18 before the election in November?” to a man who must have been at least 83. Dude was wearing a World War II veteran cap, for Pete’s sake!

Finally my number was called, and wouldn’t you know, the picture-taking-license-making machine broke. They said it would just take five minutes to re-boot.

Then five more minutes.

Then five more minutes.

Then maybe they should call Larry to talk them through it.

Then Larry put them on hold.

Then maybe Larry should drive out to fix it in person since his wife needs to get her name changed anyway, ha ha ha.

Meanwhile, Josh was in the car with the kids, talking frantically on his cell phone to whoever he was supposed to be meeting with, trying to keep Jack from spitting out the pacifier, while Hannah was in hysterics because she had to go to the bathroom and there is no bathroom at the BMV.

Finally I decided to cut my losses. I told them to pull my application and I would be back tomorrow. They had already confiscated my old license, so even if I had felt comfortable driving with an expired license, which I did not, I couldn’t have driven. Josh took us home and went on to work.

Here we are then: no car, no license, no outing, plus knowing I have to do it all again tomorrow morning. I was frustrated at first, but now I’m resigned to it. We read all the new library books Josh picked up from our holds yesterday, and the kids got naps. Maybe someday we will have two cars, but in the meantime we make our own fun here at home!

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