Things We Say

Last month Life In A Shoe had a funny post about the quotes and movie lines they use in daily conversation. I thought, “we probably don’t have many of those,” but since we had a 10 hour car trip to Virginia before Christmas Josh and I decided to think of how many lines we DO use.

Turns out we use A LOT of quotes from various things. It was fun to realize how many inside jokes we have developed over the past few years. God gave us compatible and odd senses of humor. We crack each other up, even when everyone else thinks we’re weird. I think that’s one of the great things about our marriage!

Here are the things we say, with limited explanations:

When you have an idea (to be said with a cockney accent):
Person A: “Lightening has just struck my brain.”
Person B: “That must hurt.”
(From the movie “Hook”)

When someone is kissing up, or when you’re trying to butter someone up:
“I’d like to play a little jazz trumpet for Your Honor.”
(from Dana Carvey’s hilarious HBO special, it’s a quote from the sketch about the OJ Simpson trial)

When someone loses something:
Person A: “Maybe you left it in your other pants.”
Person B: “Man, I ain’t GOT no other pants!”
(from “The Great Muppet Caper”)

When normal people might say “the truth hurts”:
“You’re lying on the floor looking up at the roof of the church, the preacher’s tellin’ the truth and it HURTS!”
(line from a song, I can’t remember the name of it, but Jen T probably knows it!)

When you have to do something you don’t want to do:
“You love it BAYBAY!”
(we aren’t sure what this is from, but Josh’s mom says it)

When something odd happens or someone says “that’s crazy”:
“That’s CRAZY! Give me/her/him/it some candy!”
(Adam Sandler sketch from SNL)

To agree with someone:
“WARD”

(that would be the boy-band, Valley Girl way to pronounce “word” and it comes from an episode of the Simpsons)

When you don’t know what to do:
“I tell you what I’d do, Peter Man….”
(from the movie “Office Space” and we don’t finish the quote, just leave it hanging there, because it’s funnier that way and more appropriate too!)

When money is in question, or a deal was missed at CVS:
“I want my TWO DOLLARS!!!”
(from that John Cusack movie where the paper boy keeps chasing him for the $2, can’t think of the title)

When agreeing with someone, especially if the person just expressed some sentimental thought:
“Likewise I’m sure!”
(from the movie “Best in Show”)

When someone is running around like crazy looking for something and getting frustrated:
“WHERE IS THE BUSY BEE!?!?!?!?!?”
(also from “Best In Show”)

When dinner is meatless or a culinary choice was made based on budgetary constraints:
“We’re having the chipper chicken.”
(from the movie “Father of the Bride” when the dad is imitating Frank the Wedding Planner saying “cheaper chicken”)

When someone says “It is?”:
“No you say that guv-nah!”
(from the movie “Blazing Saddles”)

When someone gets hurt:
“Rub some dirt on it.”
(I think we got that one from Peyton Manning)

When it’s bathtime for the kids:
“Bathtime for Bonzos and Germany! La la la la!”
(this is sung to the tune of “Springtime for Hitler” from the musical “The Producers” and also includes a reference to the Ronald Reagan movie “Bedtime for Bonzo”)

When you don’t want to do what someone else is doing:
“Ah…don’t wawn’t…yore lahf”
(that is said in a Texas accent for “I don’t want your life” and is from the movie trailer for “Varsity Blues”)

When someone is saying something sentimental:
“Motorcycle Cop.”
(from “The Muppet Movie” when Piggy asks Kermit to whisper sweet nothings in her ear, he says “Motorcycle Cop”)

When talking about places to eat:
“That’s more of a supper club than a restaurant.”
(said in a posh British accent, from the movie “The Great Muppet Caper”)

When someone did something regrettable or something bad happens:
“Don’t blame yourself”
(also from “The Great Muppet Caper”)

When someone gets confused about where the conversation is going or you can’t follow the person’s train of thought:
“You said the butler is dead? No NO dear, the PETS are dead, the BUTLER’s been discharged!”
(also said in a British accent, and also from “The Great Muppet Caper” which is one of the most quotable movies ever)

When someone is being very earnest, or when you’re deciding who gets the last piece of something:
“I will NEVER want your garage sale wagon wheel coffee table.”
(from my favorite movie, “When Harry Met Sally”)

When you get away with something or surprise someone:
“I think you underestimate my sneakiness.”
(said with kind of a Spanish accent, from the movie “Mr. Deeds”)

When someone misuses a word or mispronounces something:
“I do not think that word means what you think it means”
(from the movie “Princess Bride”)

When you need a snappy comeback but can’t think of one in time:
“So’s yer face!”
(from the TV show “Scrubs”)

When someone is wearing something frumpy:
“That’s a COSBY SWEATER! A COSBY SWEATER!”
(from the movie “High Fidelity”)

When something bad happens that could have been predicted and should have been avoided:
“You can’t pee into a Mr. Coffee and get Taster’s Choice!”
(from the Dana Carvey HBO special)

When you are listening to a song with stupid lyrics:
“She was cold as ice….paradise! And the feeling was…nice!…she’s chopping broccoli! Chopping broccoLAY! Chopping broccoLIE! Chopping brocco-layyyyyy!”
(from the Dana Carvey HBO special spoof on rockstars making up lyrics as they go along)

When you’ve been interrupted:
“Can I finish? CAN…I…FINISH?!?! Can I finish can I finish can I finish? Shibby shabby shibby shabby shibby shay?”
(again from Dana Carvey, making fun of Ross Perot)

When someone is overpacking (a suitcase, the car, the diaperbag, etc):
“FULLLLLLTONNNNN! I am not taking TWO PAIRS OF SHOES!!!!”
(this quote is from my aunt Fran, and should be said in a scary raspy voice, she overheard a mom say it when she was babysitting)

After a long list of suggestions has been rejected by the other person:
“Some varm milk perhaps? Ovaltine?!”
(said in a German accent, from the movie “Young Frankenstein”)

Actually we have a lot more, but I’m getting tired of typing and y’all are probably getting tired of reading! What funny things does your family say?

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