Thoughts On Horses And Beggars And Whatnot

In my last post, I quoted the maxim, “If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.” I like the phrase, and think it should be revived into modern parlance, however I do take issue with the conclusion.

If all my wishes for Jack to be born soon were horses, first of all, we would have a yard full of horses and they would be tearing everything up and jumping over the fence and generally making a nuisance of themselves. Clearly, I would have to sell them. Unless they were Shetland ponies, in which case I would keep one even though it’s against the rules of our neighborhood association. If pressed, I would tell the association that the Shetland pony was actually a large dog. We would name him “Little Bob Dog” in honor of our long line of Betta fish pets.

OK, but back to selling the horses. Yes, I would sell them, not give them to beggars. What does a beggar need with a horse anyway? I suppose the beggar and his pals could have a horse meat bar-be-que, but what are the odds?

Once I had sold my horses, I would take the money and put wood floors in our dining room. The whole beige carpet in a dining room where a toddler eats idea was so so so lacking in foresight. If I had money left over after that project, I would max out our 401(K)s for the year, and then buy a minivan.

The nice thing about wishes is that they are a renewable resource.

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