In case you’re wondering, I do NOT have a high tolerance for pain. Last night, when I was pulling out my big saute pan and lid to make dinner, somehow the lid flipped up into the air, twirling and turning with complex acrobatics, and came down with a whoosh like a guillotine on my left big toe.
I commenced screaming bloody murder, fell to the floor, almost passed out, and continued to wail and blubber and carry on in hysterics like a wounded porpoise for about half an hour until Josh got me calmed down to see what was the matter.
One would not think that a pan lid could do so much damage, and it probably wouldn’t have except that it has a thin straight edge and that edge came down in a straight knife-like fashion at a high velocity.
At any rate, I spent the rest of the evening with my foot propped up above my head, watching my toe turn purple and black and green.
My first concern was that I would not be able to exercise and that notion was bad enough before Josh interjected that my toenail would probably fall off. Apparently he dropped a 200 lb stone on his foot once and his toenail fell off and it looked, as he put it, “really cool.”
See, this is a difference between men and women. Men think going around with no big toenail looks “really cool” whereas women think any toenail problem that cannot be covered with two coats of Big Apple Red nailpolish is decidedly and most assuredly NOT cool.
Anyway, this morning it feels a little better. I am hobbling about the house unable to put any weight on my toe, and I can’t put on shoes or slippers, but it’s much better than yesterday. My toenail looks all black and purple, which you can see even through the two coats of red nail polish. At least it’s not summer time.
Hopefully this will all be resolved quickly and my toes will be restored to their former glory in time for sandal season!