"U"…"G"…."L"…"Y"….Babies With No Alibi

I get a lot of baby-related junk mail, free baby magazines, and random other mailings featuring pictures of babies. On several occasions, I have thought to myself, “Self, why do they pick ugly babies to be baby models?” but the baby I saw in the First Command mailing we received today took the cake. To illustrate an article/admonishment to buy life insurance to protect your family in the event of your untimely demise, First Command sported a picture of what I can only assume was Jabba the Hut’s baby daughter. I’m so not kidding! This baby looks like a little female Jabba! Bless her heart, she can’t help it, but is this supposed to make me buy more life insurance?

Josh thinks the ugly baby model phenomenon is not weird, because he says most models are ugly or at least very strange looking. He has a point, and if Jabba-ette was 5’11”, waifishly thin, and had smouldering eyes I would not think twice about her model-worthiness, but somehow it’s different with chubby babies, you know?

If I was in advertising, I would only select cute baby models to sell products and services, and if I was in publishing, I would only illustrate articles with cute baby models. All of my friends have cute babies, I have never seen one of these ugly babies in person. It can’t be that hard to find cute babies. Doubtless this post reveals me to be insufferably shallow. I feel I must caveat my comments with the assertion that if the rest of my babies are ugly as sin, I will still love them and will cherish their tiny selves even if they do look like Jabba the Hut. 🙂

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