Aliens Stole My Husband

On Sunday, aliens stole Josh and replaced him with an alien shape-shifter designed to look like the real Josh. It happened after church. The real Josh embarrassed us all by stopping on the side of the road and feloniously absconding with a Dan Burton for Congress sign. He justified this egregious act by saying that one of Burton’s staff told him he could if there were two signs together which there were. I protested that oncoming motorists would not know this, but would judge us for stealing signs on the Lord’s Day plus they would think we were Democrats. Hannah hid behind her sunshade and I wore a disguise. Well, not really, but if I owned one of those pairs of glasses with the fake nose attached, that would have been the time to wear it!

Anyway, after the real Josh put the sign in our trunk, alien Josh supplanted him. I know that’s when the change transpired, because Alien Josh got back in the car and suggested we go shopping. I know! Real Josh hates shopping! Never one to look a gift horse in the mouth, I gladly went along as we went from store to store and got a few pieces of new clothing, priced freezers, and picked up some grass seed. Hannah didn’t fuss the whole time, even when I had to feed her in the dressing room at Macy’s.

I think the aliens returned Real Josh after that, because he seems normal now. But I did enjoy a rare shopping excursion with my family and it was fun to do something out of the ordinary.

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