Speed Scrabble

Last night at Small World, I only inclined half an ear to my gifted and talented husband’s musical stylings, because I was wrapped up in a series of intense Speed Scrabble games.

[As an aside, as long as we have Small World in the cinder block house, I think I will continue to play attention-demanding games, if only to keep my mind off of the BOUSs (Bugs Of Unusual Size) who turn out in droves to hear the performances. It’s not that I have anything against the BOUS contingent, as Small World strives to be a welcoming community, but I confess I do have to work hard to overcome my deep-seated aversion to creeping things the size of rodents. I think it stems from the year we lived in Montgomery when I was growing up. The roaches there can easily beat up small animals like dogs and ponies. Or so I’ve heard, having never personally witnessed a roach and a pony duking it out in the ring. But I digress…]

Speed Scrabble, for the unenlightened, is a fast-paced version of Scrabble wherein the board is not used at all, and everyone makes their own scrabble of words. The first person to use all their letters to form actual connecting words, after the main pile of letters has been exhausted, wins.

When playing Scrabble of any kind, adults tend to be unimaginative when it comes to word creation, limiting themselves to the finite set of words found in the dictionary. Last night I found that smaller people, such as third-grader Christina, are far more open to imaginative approaches.

To her credit, Christina bravely kept up with the rest of us (in college or older) through many games, fueled primarily by a potent cup of hot chocolate that probably kept her up until 4am. I was most impressed by Christina’s imaginative coining of compound words, with the best being “OVENGUN.”

On the drive home, it occurred to me that Christina really has something with this word. Since it’s already been aptly named, now we just need someone to invent the object. Consider the possibilities: from a strictly time management perspective, ovenguns would become indispensable to hunters and campers everywhere. What other instrument allows a person to simultaneously kill AND roast their dinner? Perhaps we could have different sizes and calibers of ovenguns, with smaller ovenguns intended for small birds, squirrels, and the like, and larger models geared for felling and cooking larger prey.

We could even develop a mechanism to use the ovengun on things that were sort of dead already, such as roadkill. With the proper marketing, we could get people to buy an ovengun for this purpose by promising a drastic reduction in grocery bills:

Billy Bob: Looks like possum-on-the-half-shell for dinner tonight.
Bobby Bill:

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